scientist studies
what I know as words vs. what I think as thoughts
ghosts are living well
Possibilities kept my eyes open that quarter. Sleep came only as a chore. There were tiny drivers, variables, revving their engines and exchanging positions inside my head. How thoughts weighed a body so! The intangible control our world more than we could ever know. Much more than meat are we. A bundle of invisible appendages, quietly pulling, pushing, wrestling with one anothers. Space was as occupied as the vessels that walked around them. Our ghosts are living well and are realer than the ones their haunting. A necessary torture. Eventually you can see the world as it was, without the walls, the barriers, the borders. And it was without those possibilities and the exponentially vast ones that followed that kept my eyes open that quarter.
life as the ocean
I hate when people describe life as roads and paths taken. Life is as a sea. Mattering not how close I follow that route, not how my steps were taken. I could never see exactly what you witness and feel exactly how you did when you can across what you had. No two people are that similar. To pick up on every same note of that tune. How we pick out what catches us and arrange it in our minds how it appeases us only. Go ahead describe to your neighbor. Your trip there and back. All of what took place in between. Only know that no one can know with full satisfaction and even half curiosity what it was could have been like. For them those steams have been described to but the detail of the color of the water. And even that can be argued. Experiences shared are not much as would be an experience lived. The people. The places. The detours. The distractions. The times. The situations. Factors. Winds. Winds in the open as life as the ocean.
the convincing
the convincing. all we would have is the time between me convincing you and you figuring it out again. I’m not going to argue about your feelings.people can’t change how they feel. especially if that’s actually how they feel. even if I did eventually get you to feel how I wanted you to feel, or how I thought you should think, any conscious being would fall right back to the state where I tried to lift them from now with even more doubt. and that’s not right..but maybe that’s all there really is. fooling someone for as long as you need them fooled. until you, yourself, figure out that it’s not how either or one of you feel, anymore. everything does end, I guess..maybe it’s the lucky that find those that don’t need convincing on either end, it just all falls into place. until then, maneuvering past those trick and rouses we have now, I should find content and convince until I myself am convinced or until the grace period between that and me figuring it out runs me into the ground. it’s like running a race with your eyes closed, you never know how much better you could have done or good you did. you’re just glad you finished with someone by your side. that is the convincing veiled in the spirit of the delusion of love these days.
